Letting Go Without Giving Up: Non-Attachment Off the Mat

Last week, I was expecting to hear back about a grant I applied for earlier this summer. I had poured my heart, time, and vision into that application, imagining all the ways it could help me expand my work.

The announcement date came and went. No email. No phone call. Just… silence.

I’d love to say I brushed it off right away, but the truth is, I felt disappointed, deflated, and even a little like I had failed. I had built up a story in my head about how things would unfold — and when reality didn’t match, it stung.

That’s when I remembered one of yoga’s guiding principles: Aparigraha — non-attachment.

Non-attachment doesn’t mean apathy, denial, or pretending not to care. It means we stop gripping so tightly to a particular outcome. We can give our best effort, open ourselves fully, and still release the belief that our worth depends on how things turn out.

This week, practicing non-attachment looked like:

• Letting myself feel what I feel. I gave myself space to acknowledge the sting instead of stuffing it down.

• Remembering my worth is not up for negotiation. Whether I hear “yes” or “no,” I am still showing up with the same heart and intention.

• Shifting my focus to what I gained. Writing the grant clarified my vision, sparked new ideas, and gave me language for things I’ve only felt intuitively before. Those insights don’t disappear with a missed opportunity.

• Anchoring in the present moment. Breath, movement, time in nature — all the practices that remind me life is still happening right here, right now.

If you’ve been holding tightly to an answer, an opportunity, or a dream, maybe today is an invitation to loosen your grip. We can love deeply, work wholeheartedly, and still let go of the need to control the result.

Because the most powerful growth often happens in the space between what we expected and what actually unfolds.

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To make this principle practical in everyday life, I like to use a simple 3-step mini-practice:

1. Notice and Name It – When disappointment or frustration arises, pause and quietly name the feeling: “I notice I am anxious about this outcome.” Acknowledging it reduces its hold.

2. Breathe and Release – Take a slow, deep inhale, and as you exhale, imagine letting go of the grip on the result. Repeat for a few breaths, feeling tension soften with each exhale.

3. Refocus on What You Can Control – Ask yourself: “What action or intention can I nurture right now?” Shift your energy toward the present moment, whether it’s a small step toward your goal, self-care, or enjoying a simple daily pleasure.

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If you’ve been holding tightly to an answer, an opportunity, or a dream, maybe today is an invitation to loosen your grip. We can love deeply, work wholeheartedly, and still let go of the need to control the result.

Because the most powerful growth often happens in the space between what we expected and what actually unfolds.