This weekend I began the first of many weekends that I will spend in my new yoga teacher training. There are many styles of yoga, and nowadays many certifications that can be held. It has always been my intention to continue to develop my education so I can continue to grow. And I had the most beautiful opportunity to participate in a yoga teacher training that combined several of my favorite styles- ashtanga, vinyasa, and meditation. But as I found out, its requiring me to step way out of my comfort zone.
Prior to the teacher training first meeting, I was full of mixed emotions. Happy and nervous. Excited and scared. And in that first night we were presented with a pretty big challenge, if we had already been teaching, because in this training we are not demonstrating. rather just talking the students through a class. And it is a lot more difficult, it is more nerve-wracking. and on the way home I cried the entire time.
Fear stated to settle in pretty heavy. Anxiety as well, as I just knew there was no way I could do this. I'm not gonna be a good yoga teacher because I've been accustomed to demonstrating and now I'm not allowed to do that. Its very uncomfortable and out of my zone to not be on my mat, and to just walk around. It scares me because I fear that without students seeing my physical practice that they will not trust my abilities as a teacher.
However after I let the wave of fear wash over, and let it go, I had a feeling gratitude that flooded over.
i heard somebody say about music festivals that you don't get the music festival you want, you get the one that you need. And it makes sense because you anticipate things to go a certain way and then find it to be different. But you also find in reflection that it was just what was necessary to serve the greatest purpose. And now I think that this same philosophy applies to yoga teacher training as well as many other aspects of life. We don't always get what we want, but by the greatest divinity, we do always get what we need. And I'm grateful because I'm looking forward to this growth as a teacher, this chance to better help my students and offer them their own unique perspective to yoga.
As Anais Nin said, "and they day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
With a newfound passion for life and a deep interest in the connection between science and art, this is where ideas develop and blossom and are shared with you, my friends. Thanks for stopping by and joining me on this journey.